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Anastasia's first year (2005)

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July 2005

Our Journey Begins

July 8, 2005:

Baby now has a name: Anastasia Elise. (“Anastasia” means “resurrection,” or “one who will rise again,” and “Elise” means “consecrated to God.”).

Unfortunately, the latest about Anastasia isn’t happy news. This Wednesday, my water broke. My doctors (who are exceptional) say there is nothing they can do about it. All anyone can do is wait. As you can see in the ultrasounds below, it’s more difficult to make out little Anastasia’s body, because it’s no longer surrounded by amniotic fluid. If my water broke later in my pregnancy, it wouldn’t be quite so serious, but at 20 weeks, babies use amniotic fluid to help build their lungs.

The doctors say Anastasia will probably be born in a few weeks, and chances are she won’t be able to breathe. If she does stay inside her mommy for more than a few weeks, her chances are still slim. Not only will her lungs be poorly developed, but because she doesn’t have the protection of amniotic fluid, her body will probably be deformed. Her bones are still soft, and all her mommy’s organs are pressing against her.

Still, we hope for a miracle. Only God can say what will happen, and we are leaning heavily on him right now.

My mother-in-law recently said something that is in my mind often. Years ago, she was at a concert where Keith Green (the Christian singer/songwriter) was supposed to perform. But before the concert, he died in a plane crash. Therefore, only his wife came on stage. She explained to the audience that she’d asked God, “Why? Why now, when his ministry here on earth was so strong and doing so much good?” And she felt the reply: “You should see what I’m doing with him here.”

So, no matter what happens, our little Anastasia is a special girl. If we do get to hold her in our arms, she will be a miracle and an amazing blessing. But if we don’t, we know that she must be awfully special, indeed, for God to need her so badly in heaven.


Pictures from third ultrasound, taken July 8, 2005